Your beloved narrator
Dwasifar Sminginamini Karalahishipoor was born in 1506 on the lost continent of Atlantis, the illegitimate son of Austin Powers and Felicity Shagwell. As a boy, he was well known as a bookish lad, largely because of the leather binding and gold leaf imprints on the back of his skull. He had a vivid imagination and was known to put on puppet shows filled with imaginary characters, to the delight of his friends and schoolmates, also imaginary. In college, he majored in animal husbandry until they caught him at it one day. He then switched his major to music, becoming a virtuoso of the dill piccolo and the double-reed slide music stand.
He currently resides on a houseboat in Death Valley, CA, where he ekes out a precarious living processing toenail fungus into vegetarian foodstuffs and performing shows for passing tourists until they pay up and are allowed to leave. His autobiography, “Put This Book Down and Walk Away Right Now,” is being published soon by Very Random House.
